


Shakespeare is really gay

by showstoppingnumbrr



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showstoppingnumbrr/pseuds/showstoppingnumbrr
Summary: Alice goes to auditions for Romeo and Juliet and meets her Romeo
Relationships: Alice/Deb (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	1. Alice meets the squad

**Author's Note:**

> The characters in here are my friend Kellz' (@ready-to-fucking-die please follow her) OC's: Jacki, Blaise, Rob, Lou, Kate, and Leah. This is for her birthday also so go send her some love on Tumblr!!!

“Stop being a creeper apologist, Rob,”

“But they’re cute!” Rob whined, hands whirling around 100 miles a minute. “I love ‘em!”

Lou laughed and runs up to put her arm around Rob’s shoulder. “Of course you do, buddy,”

Rob pushed Lou away while laughing. But Lou lost her balance and fell over a kid.

Kate winced and went over to help Lou. The other girl got up and scratched her neck.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you,”

“No, it was her fault, she needs to pay attention,” Jacki said.

“I’m- I’m Alice,” 

Alice obviously looked nervous and stressed out.

Jacki pointed at the group and introduced all of them. Alice smiled and nodded. “Hey, uh, sorry to ask but could I sit with you today? At lunch, I mean. I’m new and- ya know?”

“Yeah, of course Alice! See you then!” Kate said. 

The group went the opposite way from Alice after saying their goodbyes. 

-[Convenient Time Skip]-

“Hey guys,” Alice sits down with her lunch tray in hand. 

Blaise waves. “Hey bro,”

“Thanks for letting me sit here,”

“Of course! We always need more friends,” 

Alice barely eats and fidgets with her jeans all lunch. Leah tries to talk with her but her answers are very short.

“Hey, Alice, are you alright?” Blaise leans in to check on her.

“Yeah, just nervous,”

“That’s alright. Well, we are all here for you,”

“Jacki probably already mentally adopted you,” Lou snickered.

“Not the point,” Jacki had a small smile on her face. Oh she definitely did. “How about you eat some more-”

“Hey dweebs, auditions are today right?”

Alice directs her attention to the voice and almost wheezes. The person was… so attractive. Was this what people meant by love at first sight?

They were an emo dream. They had short brown hair, a black beanie, a yellow and black flannel and an mcr shirt with ripped jeans. 

“Wow,” Alice couldn’t stop herself from staring.

“Yes, it is, see you there Deb!” Blaise says.

Deb. Deb was their name. Wow.

And before Alice knew it, Deb was gone.

Lou slapped her shoulder. “Earth to Alice,”

Alice snapped out of her gay thoughts and looked at Lou. 

“You really feel deep there,” Leah said.

“Who are they?”

“That’s Deb, my theater friend from last year,” Rob said.

“Wow,”

“Soo, did you want to come for auditions?” Blaise asked. 

“I don’t think I should,”

“You totally should! Blaise and I do it every year,” Rob smiled at Alice.

“I haven’t done theater since sixth grade, and I was never good at it,”

“But you liked it right?” 

Alice nodded.

“Then it’ll be fun now,”

“And you can always fuck Deb on the sta-”

“ROB!”


	2. Auditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice goes to auditions

Alice didn’t know why she let herself be dragged into the auditorium for Romeo and Juliet auditions. But here she was. So she would try her best. 

Rob took her hand to where Deb was sitting in seat 69 (hah seat 69 get it-). Alice stopped and felt her thoughts going every which way.

“Hey Deb,”

“Hi Rob, Blaise, and- uh, sorry, I don’t recognize you,”

Alice wanted to say her name, she did. But all that came out was

“Sorry,”

Shit.

“That’s Alice, she’s gay,” Rob winked. “Anyways, Blaise and I were going to pair up why don’t… you two audition together,”

“Oh, I’d be down for that,” Deb smiled in her direction, making Alice swoon and almost fall down. Why was Deb having this much of an effect on her?

“Mhmm,”

Alice, you need to say more than just that!

“I would like that,”

Those were words. Highfive Alice.

“Great, I’ll leave you two alone,”

Rob then dragged Blaise away before Alice could object. She turned to Deb and nervously smiled.

“So who are you trying out for?” Deb asked.

“Juliet,”

“Oh, this works out great, I’m trying for Romeo!”

Great.

“Why don’t we audition for the balcony scene?”

Alice nodded and looked over the sides Deb had. This was easy, right? She could muster up some strength and do this. She would!

“Okay everyone, turn your attention to me!”

Alice looked up on stage to see who she presumed to be Mr. Hidgens, their director, smiling and talking to the rest of the auditioners.

“Whoever is auditioning for the leads, Romeo and Juliet, please come up on stage with your sides and your partner,”

Only Alice, Deb and another pair walked up on stage. Rob whooped, and was promptly told to shut up by Blaise. 

Pair one went and was kind of good. Alice started to get nervous.

“They had no chemistry, we will be fine. Hidgens would be a mad man to cast them. Well, actually, he is a mad man, but still,”

Alice chuckled at their joke and walked on stage. 

“I’m Deb, this is Alice, and we are trying out for Romeo and Juliet respectively,”

“Go on,”

Alice took a deep breath and turned to Deb.

“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?  
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;  
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,  
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.”

Deb smiled and looked up to Alice.

“Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”

“'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;  
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.  
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,  
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part  
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!  
What's in a name? that which we call a rose  
By any other name would smell as sweet;  
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,  
Retain that dear perfection which he owes  
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,  
And for that name which is no part of thee  
Take all myself.”

“I take thee at thy word:  
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;  
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.”

Deb dramatically put their hand on their forehead.

“What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night  
So stumblest on my counsel?”

“By a name  
I know not how to tell thee who I am:  
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,  
Because it is an enemy to thee;  
Had I it written, I would tear the word.”

“My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words  
Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound:  
Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?”

“Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.”

Alice felt her cheeks heat up but she kept going.

“How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?  
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,  
And the place death, considering who thou art,  
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.”

“With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;  
For stony limits cannot hold love out,  
And what love can do that dares love attempt;  
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.”

Deb looked really cute.

“If they do see thee, they will murder thee.”

“Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye  
Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,  
And I am proof against their enmity.”

“I would not for the world they saw thee here.”

“I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight;  
And but thou love me, let them find me here:  
My life were better ended by their hate,  
Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.”

“By whose direction found'st thou out this place?”

“By love, who first did prompt me to inquire;  
He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes.  
I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far  
As that vast shore wash'd with the farthest sea,  
I would adventure for such merchandise.”

Alice took another deep breath. Long monologues would be the death of her.

“Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face,  
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek  
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night  
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny  
What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'  
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries  
Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,  
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:  
Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,  
I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay,  
So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.  
In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,  
And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light:  
But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true  
Than those that have more cunning to be strange.  
I should have been more strange, I must confess,  
But that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,  
My true love's passion: therefore pardon me,  
And not impute this yielding to light love,  
Which the dark night hath so discovered.”

“Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear  
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops--”

“O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,  
That monthly changes in her circled orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.”

“What shall I swear by?”

“Do not swear at all;  
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,  
Which is the god of my idolatry,  
And I'll believe thee.”

“If my heart's dear love--”

“Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,  
I have no joy of this contract to-night:  
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;  
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be  
Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night!  
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,  
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.  
Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest  
Come to thy heart as that within my breast!”

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?”

Alice saw Deb smirk and smiled in response. 

“What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?”

“The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.”

Her cheeks were still heated.

“I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:  
And yet I would it were to give again.”

“Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?”

“But to be frank, and give it thee again.  
And yet I wish but for the thing I have:  
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,  
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,  
The more I have, for both are infinite.”

“Juliet, Juliet!” Hidgens interrupted, filling in for the Nurse’s role.

“I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!  
Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.  
Stay but a little, I will come again.”

Deb was grinning up at Alice as she finished her line and hugged her, leaving Alice as speechless as before.

“Wonderful!” Hidgens exclaimed.


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deb is really gay

“We are gathered here to mourn the death of Lou, who stubbed her toe. A moment of silence,”

The moment wasn’t silent cause Lou was still screaming on the floor. 

“YOU WIN THIS TIME TABLE!”

Alice was laughing so hard that she was clutching her side. Deb was smiling fondly at her.

“Deeeeeb, come here,” Blaise said.

Blaise and Deb went into the hallway, trying to ignore Lou’s still persistent screeches of pain.

“You gonna do anything about your obvious crush on Alice?”

“Cru- Crush on Alice?” Deb nervously laughed. “What are you talking about? I don’t- you got it wrong Blaise, I don’t have a crush on Alice,”

“What color are her eyes?”

“They’re brown, like not the soft hazel kind, the dark brown kind, and it’s so cute and she always has a little sparkle in her eye- Oh shit I have a crush on Alice,”

Blaise smirked. “Told you. So what are you going to do?”

“Nothin’”

“Why?!?”

“She obviously doesn’t like me back, she’s been eyeing Rob all week,”

“Because they both like Minecraft! Rob’s ace as fuck, boobs aren’t his thing,”

“Oh,”

“So, I’m going to ask for the third time, what are you gonna do,”

“I’ll talk with her,”

“Finally!”

Deb sat back down on the couch next to Alice. Things settled down and Alice was talking to Rob about Minecraft. 

Rob isn’t competition, Deb reminded themself. 

“Alice,”

“Oh hey Deb,”

Deb noticed Alice’s slight pinkish cheeks. 

“Could we, uh, talk?”

Alice turned to face Deb. They sat down hesitantly. The whole group was watching at this point.

“I just- I wanted to know if you wanted to, uh, go- go out with me on Saturday? If you w-want, I mean, it’s okay if you don’t, I just thought since we, uh, are in the play together, we could run lines an-”

“Deb, slow down,” Alice said. “Are you asking me on a date?”

Deb stared at Alice and noticed her eyes again. Wow, they were so fucking pretty. 

“Yes,” Deb said.

“I would love to go out on a date with you!”


	4. Bills thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice needs help planning her date

Alice had been nervous all week. She still had nothing planned for her date with Deb. Yes, Deb asked her out, but Alice wanted to plan it. What a disappointment she was, she wouldn’t even-

“Hey kiddo!” Paul said. “You almost ran into me there, you okay?”

“I didn’t know you would be over today, Uncle Paul,”

“Yeah, I always come over for lunch on Saturday. And you didn’t answer my question,”

“It’s Saturday?!?”

“Alice, sit down please, I’m worried,”

Alice obliged and Paul sat with her. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I have a date tonight and have nothing planned,”

“Oh honey. Well, you can always go to Beanies? Emma will be there, she works today,”

“That’s not a bad idea,”

“See, everything will be alright. Now c’mon, your dad has lunch prepared,” 

Alice nodded and followed Paul to the table. Bill was sitting down, already having the salad and sandwiches out at the table. 

“How are you, Al?”

“Fine dad,”

“Alice, tell your dad what you were talking about with me,”

“I- okay,” Alice sighed. “I have a date tonight,”

“Oh really, who is he?”

“Uhm, about that,”  
Bill looked at Paul and then back at Alice. Paul shrugged at Alice, looking very nervous.

“They aren’t a boy,”

“Oh, well, did they want to come around here first, I’d love to meet them!”

Alice beamed and took another bite of her salad. “I’ll ask them,”

Everything was fine again.


	5. Meet the parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the date!

Ding dong

“Who’s tha-”

Before Paul could finish his sentence, Alice rushed past him and opened the door. There was a squeal and then an oof.

Bill ran into the room and saw Alice on the ground hugging Deb. He smiled over to Paul who smiled back.

Alice then brought her mysterious date to the living room where Bill and Paul were looking at them with a critical eye.

They had dressed up and looked very presentable, but obviously was not expecting Alice’s parents to be there. They had a white blazer on, a black shirt and some black (non-ripped) jeans. Alice dressed in her most fancy pink skirt and jumper, and had white heels on. They obviously didn’t look like they were in the same plain of aesthetic but they looked good together. 

“Uh, dad, this is Deb,”

“Hi,” Deb waved nervously.

“Well, be back before 10, alright kids?”  
Damn, he’s cool, Deb thought as Alice hugged him and the other man on the couch and dragged them out the door.

“Your dads are cool!”

“My- my what?”

“Your dads?”

“My ONE dad, Debbie,” Alice giggled. “That’s my Uncle Paul! He’s practically my dad, but they aren’t dating. Or I think they aren’t,”

Alice shrugged and got into the car. Deb still felt a little embarrassed but turned the keys to start the car.

“Where to, Princess?”


	6. Beanies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the date!

When they pulled into the Beanies parking lot, Deb opened Alice’s door making the girl blush.

“So dapper,” She happily said.

They walked inside to, like Paul promised, see Emma working at the counter. The place wasn’t too busy as it was 3 pm but they weren’t the only people in there. 

“Hey Alice! What can I get you and your date today?”

She had an obvious smirk on her face, meaning Paul text her in advance. Or Bill. Or both.

“Oh, I’ll take a hot chocolate and, uh, yeah, that’s it. What about you Deb?”

“Just a caramel frappe,”

Emma smiled, nodded her head and went back to make it. Alice smiled at Deb as they grabbed the money out of their pocket. 

“Oh, no, Billy boy would kill me if I made you pay on your first date here. It’s on the house!”

Deb laughed. They liked Emma, she was cool.

They got seated at a booth that Emma told them to sit at (apparently you could see the table from the back room where Zoey, Nora, and Emma were watching).

“So, how are you?” Deb asked, fiddling with the straw (not very sksksksks of them) while they spoke.

“Oh, I’m splendid now that I’m here with you!”

Deb flushed and giggled. Why did Alice have this much of an effect on them?

“Me too,”

They talked about whatever they could think of for hours; Dinosaurs, Plants, Video Games, Books, Theater, everything!

They were only interrupted when a tired Emma came back from behind the counter with her bag and apron in hand.

“I’m going home now, Alice did you want to get a ride with me or stay here?”

“I think I’ll stay! I’ll see you later Auntie Em,”

“That’s my girl,” 

Deb smiled and grabbed Alice’s hand, making Alice smile back at them. 

“I brought something for you,”  
“Oh, Deb, you didn’t have to!”

“But I wanted to,”

Deb grabbed a box from their purse. They opened it and-

“It’s the vial of-”

“Poison that Juliet kills herself with!” Alice finishes. “Oh, that’s so romantic, thank you Deb!”

Alice holds it in her hands before putting it on her neck. Deb beams the whole entire time.

Was this what love was?

When it was eventually time to go, Deb walked Alice to the door of her house. 

Kiss her, just lean in and-

Before Deb could, Alice did it. They were kissing! Holy shit, they were kissing!

It was quick and chaste but Deb couldn’t help but pull her in for one more. 

“G’night Debbie,”

“Goodnight Princess,”


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!!

Months after the couple’s first date, they had many more. One in the park, one at the movies, another at Beanies. 

But now, Alice was sitting on the stage, helping the techies paint the castle set for the balcony scene. The scene that changed her Senior year forever.  
She loved the color swatches they picked for the monument. It was a pastel pink and green with yellow sparkles going up it. Right now, Alice was doing a second coat of the greenery.

Alice was about to get up to get more paint when she was tapped on the shoulder.

She turned around to see Deb.

“Oh hi Babe!”

“I came to bring you home, it’s six,”

“Is it already? How time flies!” Alice giggled. “Bye everyone, I’ll be back tomorrow,”

A chorus of exhausted goodbye’s and a “lucky” and the couple went out to Deb’s car. 

The car ride home reminded Alice of their first date. Yes, she had gone in their car multiple times, but that day was special.

When they got to the doorstep, Deb ushered Alice to the front.

“Open the door,” She said, suspiciously loud.

Once Alice did, she was greeted with

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Alice had completely forgotten it was her birthday, with all the stress of tech week and homework. 

All the squad was there, cheering her on. Paul, Emma, Ted, Mr. Hidgens and her dad was also present.

“Guys, thank you!”

Deb grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. They were as pretty as they described them all those months ago before they knew they had a crush on their now girlfriend.

“I love you,” Deb whispered.

“And I you,”


End file.
